Sapperlot!!

 © Jens Oehmichen

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Jahresbild 2002 in englisch
Jahresbild 2003 englisch
Jahresbild 2004 englisch
Jahresbild 2005 englisch
Jahresbild 2006 englisch
Jahresbild 2007 englisch
Jahresbild 2009 englisch
CV
1-auss~1 vers 2

Early in 2002, 118 kg

4-auss~1 vers 2

Florian Hansen (23), 183 cm, 97 kg

Pictures at the beginning of 2002. After 30 hours of packing in the warehouse, an extended city walk, 2 hours in the garden, 3 hours house cleaning, and 15 hours accounting I was brooming the entrance hall on Sunday morning.

Florian, my best boy, came by and conjured up a little camera. Photos mirror the past, not the present. I wouldn´t. But he is my bodyguard, driver, photographer, musician, and Propaganda Secretary.

The equator-formula is my training, nothing else. Not Florian. He thinks I am just holding the mass. He is more in strength exercises. So he trains for hours in the gym. I think there is another reason. Maybe some silky milkies.

Toys Company Nikolaus 2008

In 2008/9 I worked in the purchasing department of Toys Company Pinneberg

Later I worked for 18 months at Sozialkaufhaus Wedel as furniture remover.

Jahresbild 2010
Jahresbild 2011 englisch silber
Spezialeinheit Foto Vers 2

Task force 2010

214 geschnitten
Foto0213 geschnitten

Mission Impossible

With support and financing from MIKRO PARTNER, we intended to organize a job-seeker/employer meeting - within ten weeks, out of nothing.

Outcome: Hundred participants in a BMW dealership including buffet, musician, host, PowerPoint presentation, completely renewed application documents and a booklet with short profiles of the applicants.

An Underberg after work

Winter 2012 at Toom-Markt in Hamburg-Altona

Madonna’s man

The inventor of minibodybuilding

Madonna and Jens

I cannot remember everything. So that you will understand, I am going to tell you.

The "Devil with the Three Golden Hairs" was my favorite fairy-tale. My mother had to read it to me over and over. I insisted on that.

During elementary school, a little leprechaun was in my pocket. Later on - as we all know - it emerged as Madonna. In my boldness I put the leprechaun in our class photo. That old photo is a unique evidence for devine providence.

12-14 years old I was thinking almost uninterrupted. Where did the suffering come from? What was the meaning of life?

Thru my constant thinking and my inner experience, I knew that the inner human was a universe to be meant for exploration. The meaning of life. I was always thinking about it. Over and over. There was nothing to me which was more meaningful.

Being about 26 years old, I opened my Third Eye.

The thought was in my head that somewhere out there would have to be a suiting woman for me. There was one. She was reading my thoughts! - But nothing I knew.

Then time went by and one day I had the thought to meditate on the name of my perfect woman. I wanted to know if I could find it out. In a big, blazing writing "Madonna" emerged before my Eye. Of course, I thought of the singer. I thought her crazy. But then I said to me, Just check it.

I took the next magazine containing an interview with her. She talked about a tatooed guy and other things.

Then I realized. The guy was me. I had eczema. That matched. And the other things - all right. She knew something about me and tried to reach me without a real contact.

Of course, I was sceptic. I checked further on.

She put a Nilchen-Comic in the BILD. I saw it. Every time she put a new pic in the paper, there was a certain text in the pic corresponding to the latest thoughts of mine. So I realized it again and again.

Then she signaled to me the transition to the "Liebe ist"-pics. From then on, I could find my thoughts every day!

One day I sent a pic to the BILD to find out where it came from. The next day, they published the same pic. She knew what I had done. So that pic was two times in the BILD.

I never was in good condition, and I was ill for a very long time. So I canceled every date. She had a lot of work to do and was a postponing-freak. Days, months, years. It was crazy.

She was passing me on a motorbike. Should I tear her from that?

There were so many advertisements with my thoughts. Even in shows (Harald Schmidt) she placed my thoughts. She manipulated the shows (with money?) but never ever told a word about me to anyone. Automobile commercials and even "Tatort" were manipulated.

Thousands of pics and hundreds of shows!

In the Penny-Markt she stood behind me. But what could I do? I was too fat and had to make diet. She seemed aristocratic, wasn't matching the whole scene. Who was that? Back home I realized that it was Madonna. Yeah, I missed the chance.

Then I thought about Spirulina, but it was too expensive. She placed a little can on the shelve in the Penny-Markt. I saw it. I wondered. There was no price tag. Standing at the cash, the cashier took it away. It wasn't on the list. Shit!

Madonna und Jens 2013 mini

2013: Madonna and Jens - 25 Years in Love

Bounty

2013: Bounty

Satisfaction

2013: Satisfaction

Candygirl neu

2013: Candygirl

Steps to Fortune

2013: Steps to Fortune

Game of dice

1. Player throw dice alternately

2. End up directly before the obstacle

3. Throw a 6 to get onto the obstacle

4. Carry on alternately

5. At the gate, throw a 6

Marriage

It never was my wish to marry. At last I cannot make nonsense of my religion. But as a tax-free transfer of capital...

Yes, we often had quarrels because she didn’t want to be my “real” friend - rather more platonic. Yes, she had to learn German. Yeah, it’s understandable - isn’t easy.

After more than 25 years I asked her...

Klassenfoto verkleinert
Jens mit Kobold verkleinert hd Ausschnitt

Devine providence: Madonna and Jens have been together from childhood on.

Madonna-Jens Rahmen Gold 10

Sí, Sí, Sí

2013: Madonna-Jens

End and Beginning 2

2013: End and Beginning

Perfection-Plate

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